“Sunless Summer”(Ode to 2008) by PremierePoet

December 31, 2008 § 1 Comment

 

 

It was a cold winter as I prowled the pavement,

Supreme scarf warms my face as the outsiders stared in amazement.

Who is that nigga? And who’s that bitch that he came with?

I heard your whispers, I saw your smirks.

Yet those questions you asked went unanswered so assumptions you thought of and ran with.

 

I told her I will be here waiting for her.

I will be here with roses in hand, optimism high, ready to nourish the seed of love that I planted.

Tick tock, tick tock, the time clock of my watch read the hour my heart stood on guard until I was tired of waiting. Grew impatient, my seed of love went to other places.

 

So when you returned, you saw that I was… gone;

High as muthafucka’  chillin’ on a spaceship;

Haha, yeah I knew u wished your plane had never landed.

 

The memory of your touch had weighed heavy my heart, as I stay awake staring into the darkness,

Its cliché now-a-days but even then I was heartless.

Even then when I was slammed to the asphalt, knee to the ribs from the pig, the law treated me like the shit their predecessors depicted of me.

 Right then and there I knew I wasn’t fit for the streets,

My body was numb I couldn’t tell the difference from raindrop or tear on my cheek.

 

Pause.

 

Let’s take a minute to think.

 

Let’s just reflect, and reminisce.

 

Let me lick my lips, as I lust for the taste of our last kiss.

 

My angels spoke to me, and they say I should I should let it out.

 

They say let I should let it go,

Let it go,

Let it go,

Let it go…!

 

Thank you angels,

Now here I go.

 

The ball drop and the games begin!

Let the light glow open the curtains and turn the mic on…

It’s time to say goodbye to the past,

Hello to the present, and fantasize the future…

 

 I said goodbye,

I said farewell,

I looked at myself in the mirror and said hello, and

FUCK you to the old me.

 I said it’s a new year,

A new day,

A clean slate giving you 365 chances so don’t blow it.

 

I told myself it was YOUR year; it was YOUR CHANCE,

Your windows are open, hurry before they close it.

 

But,

I blew it,

 I blew it,

I fucked it up.

 

It’s not a story, it’s not a tale.

It’s real. It’s as real as real gets.

 

It’s so surreal,

 

I was told to hush, when I was in a rush to whisper I love you much.

I was told to stop when I was on a steady path.

I was told the bad news, compounded with sleepless sadness.

I was put in between a rock and a rock; my internal battles were the hard place.

I was given an aphrodisiac as a prescription for the tears falling down my face.

I witnessed a friendship dwindle, as another spawned in sweet sweet bliss, I see the way they look at one another resting in each other arms, now here is the sweet sweet kiss.

I witnessed a father find his vice in bottle filled with a brown liquid, & within it was the words he never spoke, and the actions he never showed. 

I walked the lonely road with stolen souls, and broken hearts.

I saw beautiful brown eyes bleed tears of lost hope, exiled from reality as things fell apart.

 

So there I stood in warm sand, staring into the horizon, praying for a fresh start.

 Surrendering the past, slowly inching towards the sea allowing it wash away my sins.

I would drop to my knees, begging for forgiveness, telling my story from beginning to end. My angles say hush, it’s just another chapter. The saga has yet to begin…

 

 

It’s not a story, it’s not a tale. It’s real. It’s as real as real gets.

 

It’s so surreal,

 

I just wanted to tell you I love you, I just wanted to let you know that I cared. You broke your heart, I am there to put the pieces together and make you whole it again. Yet, you couldn’t see that. All you saw was a friend, a vessel of off brand emotion, a soul that you thought would never be capable of such…the things you said to shoot me down. My smiles you turned to frowns, I questioned my feelings wondering why they were still around. so NO! I WILL NOT HUSH! OPEN YOUR EYES AND FOLLOW YOUR HEART! Please, please… just whisper something… please, just one word. Anything, before I’m finished, listen to your heart. Don’t allow us to default and re-start.

 

I still see the windows of opportunity, yet another year has passed, my Chicago bound journey was thwarted, maybe it’s just not meant to be. Maybe I belong someplace better, somewhere beautiful and free, maybe somewhere with Justin and Jeremy…

 

My internal battles are nothing more than the remnants of things I cannot control. I don’t have the words to heal; I can only see your hurt and be there to wipe your tears.

It warms my heart to see you happy, if only you knew what I think of, wishing I was in his shoes. Just to have the chance to hold your hand. He may have fucked it up. But at least he got to love, you.

 

But here I stand, alone.

 

Ready and willing to sacrifice it all, here I stand open,

Here I stand strong,

Here is where I STAND TO BE ME!

HERE IS WHERE I STAND TO BE FREE!

HERE IS WHERE IT ALL BEGINS!

THIS IS THE MOMENT WHEN I WILL NOT ALLOW PESSIMISTS TO THWART MY DREAMS, AND GET THE BEST OF IT!

 HERE IS WHERE I WILL KEEP MY HEAD HIGH, STICK MY CHEST OUT, AND WALK AROUND LIKE I OWN THE MUTHA FUCKIN PLACE!

 

HERE IS WHERE I STAND TO SPIT IN THE MUTHAFUCKIN FACE OF ALL WHO DOUBT THEE!

 

HERE IS WHERE I STAND TO LOVE MYSELF, SO SOMEONE ELSE CAN LOVE ME!

 

HERE

IS

WHERE

I

STAND!

 

….

 

A sunless summer took a toll on my soul but, it was a cold winter as I prowled the pavement;

Polo scarf warms my face as the outsiders stared in amazement,

 Accompanied by beauty and brains,

Talent and gift,

a day begins with a hug, ends in a kiss…

 

 

 

Hello everyone,

1st off I want to thank you for taking time a ready my LAST post for 2008. And I also would like to wish you HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!! Doesn’t that just make you want to smile really hard and go out do something! Lol.  Now, I hope you enjoyed “Sunless Summer”. It has been a VERY long time since I have written anything THAT PERSONAL. Last year I did a piece for the general public. This year was just way too much to even try and do the same thing so I just, kept it simple and made it personal. Now, if you could relate to it by replacing my “I” with “you” then more power to you. I just truly put a lot into this one. And the sad part of it all is this is BARELY the sh*t that went down in 2008, and I’m not just talking about me. I’m also speaking of those around me as well. There is a strong tone to this I want to point out, and it’s the tone of self pity. I wanted to actually get you guys into my head for a second. As too why I do what I do. Why I find myself “falling” for people, the self esteem issue, the new drug habit (weed), family issues, my thought process, my admiration of my friends, etc. I created that strong tone of self pity because this past year that feeling has never been so present with me. Ever. I was so in tuned with my emotions, my thoughts, and beliefs  that I would become numb to them. I truly felt lifeless at one point, I felt like there was only one world. It was mine. And that’s all that I cared about. I eventually snapped out of it, but it was too late. So I feel like you really get ME in this poem. You really get the truth. I tried to express it through my “Brenton Jacobs” pieces, and my “Bombshell TellTell pts 1&2.” But it just wasn’t enough. Writing has always been therapeutic, but it just have the effect I expected, for myself and others.  With “Sunless Summer” I actually get a little knot in my throat when I read it because it is exactly what I wanted it to be. It is my feelings, my thoughts, my exprecienes, my everything in its purest form. From its structure, spelling,  to language. It is me. And I really just wanted to share that with you.

But enough about that,

Its 2009. There is no need to rant about new beginnings and fresh starts, etc. because its gotten to the point where YOU know exactly what needs to be done. ONLY YOU are in control of your life. And 2009 is the year of control. It’s the year we must do what needs to be done for the benefit of ourselves and others..and guess what… 3 months ago, you already started by voting for Barack Obama…

That’s my last little 2 cents for 2008 people, I’m taking a week or so off from the blogging and what not..get back to school and focus…

Peace & Love,

Picasso ‘PremierePoet’ Russell

Poet, CEO, & Founder of The PremierePoet Society

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Run away from your eyes…” by PremierePoet

December 30, 2008 § Leave a comment

I can’t look any longer, and allow my spirit to be haunted with the memories of you.

A Friendship that was endless, the idea of us together lived in forever bliss.

I can’t be in your presence looking into your eyes as they play the past like a nostalgic film noir, black and white images of dreamy unrealistic kisses.

Blink.

Blink.

Blink.

Look for me.

If I am no where to be found, but we will meet again, and I will tell you the reason why I had to run away from your eyes…

NewY9.: These arent resolutions, they are Rules.

December 30, 2008 § 3 Comments

There are only 3. Three simple RULES that I will follow and live by for the remainder of my life, and starting Jan. 1, 2009.

1.       “Stop Talking”

My great-grandmother always said “never let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.” My mother whom is a strong believer in anything her grandmother told her held strong to that saying and shared it with me. Then, going on to translate for me by saying something in a much more simpler tone “be careful who you share your dreams with”.

Since my mother told me that, I heard it, I retained it, but I didn’t actually put it to good use. Over the past year or so ideas, thoughts, ventures, and other lucrative thoughts have come to reality   and I was DYING to share with someone. My low self esteem and self worth would make me want to share these potentially successful ideals with my acquaintances, But then to receive such a lack of enthusiasm, and the will to travel the potentially successful journey with me ultimately lead to the point of negating all those ideas. So for the new year, I will officially begin to “stop talking”. For everything creative thought, lucrative idea, and general feeling I have I will keep it to myself.

 

2.       “Good things come to those who wait…”- Patience

Our generation is known for getting what we want, when we want and we don’t give a shit how we got it. Am I lying? Hell no. I’m not. It’s a given fact. With the internet at our disposal, schools teaching us things that our parents BARELY learned in college, and everything being handed to us on a silver platter, I am soo fucking right! And with that, we are also a generation that won’t WAIT FOR ANYTHING! We want and have to have it right then and there! Its like now or never. A lot of us base it on life experiences, others are just born into it. “I want it now!” heres a perfect example…. Why arent so few us still virgins……………..? think about that one. Well anywho, heres my deal. I rushed EVERYTHING this year. I truly felt like I didn’t get it now, then I would never have it. No need in getting into detail but it got me to where I am now, and lets just I am truly un-happy with it. So for the new year. I differentiate myself from my own generation and just be patient. Tommorow isn’t promised but it doesn’t hurt to look forward to something right?

 

3.       “what the f*** is she wearing? Are those even real?” – Stop being Picky, but raise the standards.

                   Females, females, females…..tisk tisk. The year 2008 was an INTERESTING year when it comes to females.  It’s such a bittersweet feeling. On one side its like “hey, I must be doing something right because they are still around.” And on the other its like “why waste your time..you know where its headed”…I can get really deep into details with that. But I would rather not. so,  I’m just going to put it out there.  In my lifetime, I have only encountered TWO, that’s 2! Females that I can truly say that I Love(d). after meeting these two individuals I would look at other females and actually compare them to you, wondering if they can live up to the standards of you.  I mean, you were P E R F E C T  everything that I have grown to know what attracts me to females  you have it. So after accepting the reality of us never being together I moved on. But it was hard. I changed into some egotistical, materialistic asshole basically. And would say before I even look at a female, I would look at her shoes, and if they don’t cost more than what I was wearing I wouldn’t speak to her. WHOA! That’s fucking ridiculous right? Yeah, I know. Again, that’s gotten me NOWHERE and I think its coming back to haunt me.  But anywho, im no longer an egotistical, and materialistic asshole, and I no longer care whether or not a chicks shoes cost more than my outfit. So for the new year, I will not be as picky when looking to “talk” to a female. 

 

      But I will raise my standards & expectations:

 

I will not tolerate negativity, our conversations should end in laughter.

I will not tolerate secrecy, don’t be afraid to talk, if you shelter yourself from me…bye.

I will not tolerate immaturity, get off facebook and grow up.

Be yourself, but don’t try to hard when TRYING to be yourself.

Be honest.

 So I think thats simple enough. hey, I’m just a simple guy.

 

 

 

 

3 days…

December 29, 2008 § Leave a comment

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Premo’s Pick ’08: TOP 3 songs

December 26, 2008 § Leave a comment

#3

“Put On”  Young Jeezy ft. Kanye West

#2

“Shoot Me Down” Lil’ Wayne

*** #1 ***

“Paper Planes”- M.I.A.

Premo’s Picks ’08: The BADDEST Female of the Year

December 25, 2008 § Leave a comment

This  was the HARDEST decision ever…in 2008 the female specie did BIG things..Sara Palin, Hilary Clinton, “video vixens”, Rihanna, & the list goes on…!

so I have been sitting here  for the past HOUR & a half trying to figure out just WHO is worthy of being the BADDEST Female of 2008 in premo’s world….

soo I have narrowed it down…again. and again… A N D  again.

so. here we again…this is who I THINK is the BADDEST female of 2008:

*** Robyn Rihanna Fenty ***

 

Premo’s Picks ’08: Top 3 FILMS!

December 24, 2008 § Leave a comment

#3

Pineapple Express

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#2

The Dark Knight

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*** #1 ***

Milk

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