February 28, 2009 § Leave a comment
My heart’s beginning to beat with the monster’s heart.
I know their are no such things as “monsters” per se.
I hear my heart beating and it’s speaking but I just can’t make out the words.
I wonder if it hurts because it’s saying to me all the things that have been said to me from you.
Sometimes I feel like I’m doing too much but yet it’s never enough.
Each and every day I feel like I’m becoming more and more like a monster and in every single way.
I tried to stay away from poetry, my true love.
As much as I could but she just couldn’t stay away from me.
The only time I feel useful is when I write.
I know I can make a difference.
Hmmm… useful… now isn’t that a great word.
Everyone wants to feel useful and important to someone and they’ll do it however they can.
Don’t you just dislike it when people criticize and judge without really ever knowing or having any idea of who or what it is.
I’m not always the dramatic individual but I always find myself somehow right in the middle of everything.
And I blame myself so much.
I wonder how many people care about the little things these days.
My emotions have gotten the best of me once again
But isn’t it right, Jt? We can’t write all of the time. But we must do it when it’s eating away at our mind.
It’s been picking at my brain and my heart.
I feel misunderstood.
So that means I’ve been misinterpretated.
That means I gave you the wrong idea.
Or you just decided to choose the wrong impression.
I know who I am or at least what I thought I was.
Am I worth getting to know?
Do you feel like you know who I am.
Do you understand that this is just a part of me?
I shouldn’t even be mad that this is my skill.
Because I’ve been blessed so much that most guys would love to be where I am.
I can’t handle it.
But that means the lord has given me to much.
And i’m not ready to give up or give in.
I’m not throwing in the towel.
I just want to know if the support is still there.
I want to know how much you truly care.
Or if you ever did. In my mind I’m confused all of the time.
And never know what to say or what to talk about.
But as I write this all the words just pour right out.
The truth is I can talk about almost anything.
Even things people wouldn’t assume I know but then again why would they think I would be interested in what they like.
But I’m not you. I am me.
What is it that you see when you look at me?
What do you think about me when you hear my name?
What would you say if I said I’m the monster, the anti-hero.
The one that’s against you.
How come you didn’t stop me when you had the chance?
How come you didn’t try.
A Monster? Mikey? This can’t be happening. Three years and four months ago I was hit by a car.
It should have hit me just a bit harder.
Perhaps then it would have knocked even more sense into me and have made me smarter.
How dare you Poetry come right back to me and get the best of me yet again?!?!
It’s my time… to get the best of you.
And I’ll it do no matter what it takes for me to be on top.
I’ve never disliked poetry so much in my life yet I’ve been disliking myself lately even more.
I haven’t told any lies but I’m not being true too myself.
In my mind I’m thinking “if they only knew.”
But the truth is they know better… than I do.
I wonder if I was given this ability to write what I feel so that you can tell me that it will be ok.
And perhaps it will.
But, I’m no longer writing to prove to myself that I can do it.
I’m doing this to showthat even I need help.
I’m the problem and the solution.
But in order to be a great leader like my friend J.T is…
I’m going to have to cut some things out of my life so I can focus on being the solution and only the solution.
I don’t want to be a monster.
Wake me up, someone.
Please tell me it’s all just a dream.
So that means I’m sleeping.
And I’m thinking.
Of the times were I was having bad dreams.
Monsters coming out of my closet and pulling at me for no reason.
Yelling at me and screaming at me.
I need to take control of myself NOW.
I care about others but they don’t always see it that way.
I say I’m responsible. But you say I’m not reliable.
I say I’m honest. You say I’m full of shit.
I criticize myself only for you to tell me that I’m more than good at being myself.
So as time passes on by I’m running away from my life.
I guess I should have known that life would have ran with me too.
Because the world doesn’t stop for you.
And it sure as hell won’t ever stop for me.
It’s all in my head.
So the invention of me being a monster is all in my mind.
But one day I’ll be who I am meant to be… yeah one day.
For now I just hope you can accept me and take for who I am.
I hope you can trust me that I won’t hurt you.
And prevent me from becoming a “monster” that I don’t want to become.
February 27, 2009 § 3 Comments
WOW WOW WOW!!!!!!! ok
so heres the story…
I have these friends….a group of females that are very Andy Warhol meets your favorite rapper/the hottest chick you have ever seen- ish lol…very risqué to say the least..but nonetheless they are the type of females that mos def turn heads. But ANYWAY back to the story….even tho I graduated a year earlier than them we somehow managed to end up in the same medium of career interests. Like I attend the Art Institute of DC for Film x TV Production…IRONICALLY! My homies from high school graduate and they ALL end up @ AN ART INSTITUTE! 😛 (sidebar they attend one if MIA,its soo much cooler.. ) but anway to sum it all up…they are artists. I’m an artist. The chemistry is GREAT! And I love them to death!
This are some photos that (one of the chicks im speaking of took) her name is Leana Chavez, and infamously known as Bobby Lee. She is (believe it or not) a 1st quarter student at an art institute in fla. And I must say for a 1st quarter student THESE ARE DOPE!
Like not just the fact that they in B x W but the theme of it..B x W pics on a beach, and the “models” are the other females I speak of…Jessica G. x Shannon W. x *Jamie L. x *Jasmine H. x *Stephanie C. (*-havent actually met yet) dressed in what seems to be “sundresses” yet they are posing with such innocence yet theres a sexually driven undertone…seemingly making them seem like hippies of the 21st century, prized possessions, untouchable if you will….
Well that’s enough rambling… if you like what you see & your in the Miami area looking for some good up and coming photography I’m pretty sure Bobby Lee would love to work something out!
So feel free to contact her: Mytigerlove@hotmail.com
February 26, 2009 § Leave a comment
I dont care what you think Lindsay is AWESOME!!! I think she is one of this baddest whitegirls….mos def in the top 10 lol!!
Having captured the likes of Amy Winehouse, Kate Moss, and most recently Courtney Love, Hedi Slimanes infatuation with shooting Hollywood’s bad girls has become more evident with time. Adding more imagery to Hedi’s fashion diary, the famous fashion designer and photographer conducted a photoshoot alongside Lindsay Lohan with that same provocative nature as his previous projects.
February 22, 2009 § 1 Comment
So I think its time to start up another “series” of poems…I’ve done the “Fantasy: Brenton Jacobs”, and the “BombShellTellTell pt’s 1 x 2”. So now I have 12th planet pt1 already out and I havent decided yet when I want to publish pt 2….(again if you read it, its two very personal poems..) but anywho. I want to start a new one…They are going to be called “This is a story…” I think I’m going to make it a 5 part series.(most likely) but it is EXACTLY what the title sounds like… They are going to be stories but more than that…stories that all form one big story…Ironically, I am doing that bc I eventually want to make it a screenwrite. 🙂 but 1st I want to see what type of response I get through the poems so that I know what direction to take the screenwrite…
but here is pt 1 of “This is a story…” its very vague, bc its more or less an “opening scene” or establishing shot (for the film kids) than an actual story. sort of like a thesis, or the narrator in the begining of a movie. so is just a quick overview of what to expect…
“This is a story….” pt.1
The heart beat sends simplistic rhythms to the mind that then replay to orchestrate a mellifluous moment of peace.
From one realm of uneasiness the next is to be 2nd best to heaven,
This moment I stay in is the haven in which my smiles are spawned. They emerge from their resting place on my grim face just as the flowers bloom after May.
They rise to the occasion like the arrival of a king.
It begins a revolution of optimism, and self assurance for a better tomorrow begins.
The last tear to fall was a yesterday present as today’s gift is something new. Nothing can last forever, only diamonds can stand the test of time. But all isn’t forgotten when memories are tattooed on a person’s mind…
“A Little Bit”-Drake ft. Lykke Li
February 22, 2009 § Leave a comment
but I think this album is kinda hot….
“The Way I Are” ft. Keri Hilson
“Apologize [Remix] ft. OneRepublic
“Give It To Me” ft. Justin Timberlake x Nelly Futardo
February 20, 2009 § Leave a comment
February 20, 2009 § 1 Comment
left on my lips after every, and each kiss
something about you infiltrates the empire of me
and every time you touch me,
i resent the time that wasn’t spent with thee
my intent is to grace you with every power that you grace me
see, you are similar to a perfect de ja vu,
and you are damn near immaculate
your persona, your genuine, your smile, blessed to even come in contact with it
you hand me things that contain, such concept
you are an artist painting pictures of images that blow up thoughts
pillars of you, have been constructed in my mind
uncertainty is most certaintly, what worries me
how did you get so, so, so right?
you are my enigma, draped in elegant figure
you are my reality of dreams
you seem so sweet but, my chocolate sweetness you are everything that you seem
i am on the border line of addiction
reading you is like intriguing fiction
but every time your sweetness on my tongue lets me know that you’re real
every time i get thoughts and glimpses of your sweet sensory chocolate details left on my lips
after every, and each kiss.